She'll Knit
by Ravyn Skye
Summary: He supposes they'll have to relocate to one of those 'pretty bad' planets after all, but hey, at least she'll knit. A sweet incest-y Simon/River oneshot.  Please do NOT READ if you do not like Tamcest.


Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly. Joss is Boss.

River will Knit

"Simon…" She pulls him closer and hangs on for dear life; his body the warm and heavy anchor that keeps River from drifting away in the never ending sea of voices, impressions, and thoughts not her own.

"River…" He smoothes his hand down over head and tangles surgically skilled fingers through messy dark strands, finding knotted muscles at the back of her thin neck, and working them slowly, relaxing her in ways the smoothers never can.

Her head tilts back, cradled in his large palm, and her large brown eyes search his own – a mirror image, thanks to genetics. He leans in close – too close – and her hands reach up as he buries his face in her thin neck.

River snuggles up and allows her moist lips to tease his earlobe as she whispers small, soft inarticulate sounds of reassurance. "I love you." The words hang in the air between them, and finally, she puckers up and brushes soft kisses on his cheek, which he allows without hesitation and without guilt.

That carefree feeling lasts only until her warm tongue slides along the outer most ridge of his ear and he feels tiny sharp little teeth nip along that sensitive appendage… He groans softly, hating her for tempting him, and yet his love doesn't waver for an instant.

He feels hot, salty tears form behind his eyes and he wonders if they sting her flesh as badly as they sting his heart when they land on her neck. "River, we can-", he chokes on the words as her small hand reaches his thigh and massages gently.

"Shhhhhhhh…" River comforts as she feels his confusion tangle him all up inside. His brotherly love, and his deep, dark, and shameful desires knotting his stomach and twisting and twining with his guilt until Simon is defenseless and fragile, shaking with uncertainty in her arms.

River knows that if he'll only let her take the lead, she can smooth the knots, take those tangled strings and knit them together into something soft and warm and safe and comfortable. River can stitch his heart together, the way he has sutured her skin so many times before. She can be a healer too… If only he will give her the chance.

Her hand moves around the barrel of his chest, tiny fingertips digging into the flesh just under his shoulder blades, and suddenly she falls backward and drags him with her. His head comes from her shoulder and he looks down at their position. He's laying half on top of her, now. He rests his weight on his elbow and uses his hand to brush her bangs back, while his forehead finds hers and he closes his eyes and inhales sharply.

_Why is she doing this him? Doesn't she know what kind of position this puts him in? Doesn't she understand how much this… hurts?_

"You don't… understand what you're doing River."

One long lean dancer's thigh slides along his waist sensually, and her ankle comes to rest just below his buttock, while she slowly rotates her hips against his. "But I do," she breathes softly, then giggles.

Suddenly, River tilts her chin back and presses her lips softly to his own, and Simon can't pull away. Her arms lock around his neck and her fingers grip his hair, pulling his head to the side before her tongue darts out and… In his shock, Simon's mouth opens, but River only uses the opportunity to slide that wet muscle inside and taste him.

He groans, and searches himself for disgust… And instead he finds only shame in the lack of it.

She pulls back, those mirror image eyes searching each other once again, and she informs him gently, "You want this Simon. I _know _you do."

His eyes clench shut and he can't deny it. All he can do is apologize, "I'm sorry."

Inside he's crumbling into a million fragmented pieces and River knows just how to fix it, if only he'll let go, "It's okay, Simon… I love you… Let me love you."

Her hands slide over his body, searching for the shards of his resistance and clearing them away, one by one. His sweater slips over his head and her nails score his back as her ill-fitting dress rides higher and higher on her thighs. "Touch me, Simon."

Their hips move slowly, grinding against one another and her dress finally makes it all the way up to her bellybutton…

He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, not allowing himself the pleasure of looking at her body but he concedes to her pleadings and allows her to guide his hand up under her dress, the thin fabric bunching as his fingers slide slowly up quivering soft flesh.

He groans softly in his throat and shoves himself up off of her; her legs are still wrapped firmly around his waist, and she follows him upward to sitting position and raises her arms above her head. He pulls her dress up over her head, like a father undressing a child, and now she's laid out in nothing but her undergarments.

He turns away with a fine sheen of sweat and a red tint to his cheeks.

River reaches her thin arms behind her and releases the hook to her bra, casually tossing the unneeded garment aside and clasping his hand with her own. "Simon…" He looks back at her, his eyes sweeping down awkwardly, and River encourages him by grabbing his hand once more and guiding it to her small, soft breast; his hands kneed the forbidden flesh as if by instinct and finally, he allows himself to forget his internal torture and be swept away by the way she feels in his hands.

He can never imagine himself allowing any other man to touch River in such a way… No one is good enough for his mei-mei and there is a small, sick part of himself that is glad that it is _he _and he alone who is allowed this privilege.

"That's right, Simon," River's arms and legs wrap around him as she clings, "No one but you. No one else can be with me like you can. We're the same."

He isn't quite sure what she means by that, but he doesn't have long to question as her hands begin to nimbly unfasten his belt. Her fingers hook on his pants and underwear, and then push both down to his knees.

His hand slides to her cheek and he looks down into her innocent face, wondering how she's perceiving all that's going on.

River gives a Cheshire grin as his male member is revealed to her. Like a child with a new toy, her eyes light up as she enthusiastically encircles him with her palm, cradling the warm flesh, rapidly hardening in her grasp.

"River!" He chokes out when the girl begins to squeeze and stroke him gently. She leans down, her tongue darting out to lick the tip, and kissing him there.

No… He can't let her do that for him. He won't take pleasure from any act which doesn't pleasure her. He's barely allowing himself to continue as it is, and to allow her to do this for him would be…excessive. He will take nothing that does not also give.

"Mei-mei…" He winces as he catches himself awkwardly acknowledging their siblingship at a time when all he wants to do is forget, "Stop."

"No stopping." River argues and hurriedly sucks him fully into her mouth. He grips the side of her head and pulls her off his cock forcefully, "Lay back."

Understanding that if she pushes him in this regard, he may suddenly think better of his actions, River obeys without question. His hands find her knees and he backs away, kneeling on the floor in front of the bunk and tugging her down toward him. He pulls her panties down and tugs her bottom toward the edge. He closes his eyes once again and stares only at her sex, not her face.

He can pretend here, that this is not his precious little sister… She is just a girl; a girl who loves him and wants him and, dare he say… _needs_ him.

"Make me a girl, Simon." She whispers and his head dips without another thought. "Unnnn…" Without hesitation River opens wide to the feeling of his tongue sliding up along her wet seam, lingering on her throbbing button.

With his face buried between her legs, the taste and scent of her excited sex quivering around his tongue and his eyes clenched shut, Simon can finally find his own world where he blocks out everything but his guilt; he dives headfirst into mindlessness and focuses solely on the task of bringing her to completion… Just like any other girl, he tells himself.

He hasn't had much experience, medical school, his studies, and finally, the years he spent thinking of nothing but how to free his sister from the Academy leaving little time for women, but he's earnest in his desire to bring her pleasure, and he works hard to respond to her body's ques.

He knows how her body works. Medical text books explaining sexual response and stimulation, but suddenly, he's out of his depth. The clinical knowledge, but lack of practical experience leaving him uncertain and unsteady.

"So good, Simon." He hears her encouragement at just the right moment and redoubles his efforts. His fingers find their way toward her opening and he blindly searches for the place her small body will yield, finding it after only a brief moment of awkwardness, he fills her with one long digit. "Yes!" River mews softly like a kitten and the pride he finds in her response is surprising, even to him.

"Simon… Simon… Simon…" She calls to him over and over, while he responds by curling his finger toward the front of her vaginal wall; that's where its supposed to feel good to women, being that the urethral sponge and _Gräfenberg_ Spot is located there. Her body's inner muscles clench around his finger, and slickness coats his digit more fully, and he knows he's doing well.

Her hips move up and down, and he thinks she might be close, "More, please Simon, more!" He adds another digit, and moves his tongue more insistently against her clitoris, hoping against hope he can finish her soon. His erection is so hard now, and he's aching… Aching to be inside her.

"Simon… Come here…" A siren song escapes her lips and though he knows she hasn't yet climaxed, he lifts his head and looks up toward her face, "River?" He says her name, for the first time, not trying to forget _who_ he's about to make love to… He doesn't even notice the lack of guilt this time.

River reaches down with open arms and beckons him to come to her. "Come here, Simon." He nods, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and crawling upward into her embrace. They maneuver on the bed to lay lengthwise again, and Simon's lips reach for hers without hesitation now.

Her small hands reach between them, gripping his member and sliding him between her netherlips, "Make me a girl, Simon," River whispers once more, and in a last act of damnation, Simon buries his face in her shoulder again and slides himself home.

"Ah!" He groans his pleasure at being encased suddenly in such a hot, wet, _tight _embrace, and River whimpers and whines, locking her legs around him, her legs digging into his buttcheeks and holding him still with her strong legs.

Her whole body is shaking and a few tears streak down her face, landing on his cheek. Suddenly, panic overtakes him and he realizes… _She was a virgin. He's just… Hurt her._

"River?" He darts back as much as she will allow, but keeps his lower body completely still, studying her face. "I'm sorry! Are you okay?" The worry in his tone is so completely… genuine… That River can only smile in return and nod.

"Shhhh…" The inherent _wrongness _of _her _being the one to comfort _him _in this situation is not lost on the good doctor Tam.

Before self-loathing can take hold of her brother again, River grins wide, "He's worried, but she's happy. Pain from him doesn't hurt."

He closes his eyes and kisses her again, totally relaxed now, and River pulls him down against her. "Time to be a real girl… No more dolls and puppets, no more tangled strings." With those words, she moves her hands to cup his backside, and presses him closer, then relaxes the grip of her thighs around his waist and thrusts, allowing him to retreat.

"River, mei-mei…" He wraps her up in his arms as his treasured sister, his first-time lover, the most precious girl in all the 'verse, and begins his advance and retreat. Slowly at first, he spears into her, moving his hips in gentle cadence and building her slowly toward climax with rotations on the upstroke.

"Simon…" Again she holds him close, her elbows finding a natural place beneath his armpits and her nails scratching his back as she clings to him while he rides her straight to oblivion. "Don't stop… Don't stop… Don't stop…"

He groans as his cock sinks in, over and over, and she tightens each time he pulls back, stroking his cock, tugging his foreskin, and working his body until his testes are tight and it takes all he has to hold back from spilling inside her. "River, please…"

"Edge is close, Gonna fall off…" She whispers and he manages to hold out for scant moments longer, until finally, blissfully, she makes a high-pitched sound and her hips move out of control; rhythmic contractions of her core spasming around his cock and her legs twitching against his waist.

Her head falls back, her eyes roll back, her nails bite into his back, and she's silent but for her body's involuntary jerks and finally he lets himself go. Stars brighter than the heavens explode behind his eyes as his testes jump up, tight and coiled pressure finally releasing; his aching cock spurting ribbons of hot, sticky seed deep into her welcoming recesses over and over.

Panting and sated he falls into her chest, loose noodle arms wrapped around his thickly muscled shoulders as his head finds her breast and uses it for a pillow.

"River…"

"Shhhhh… All better now." She coos, and he, and his guilt, finally fall silent.

"I love you, mei-mei." He whispers.

"I'll knit." She replies.

He chuckles and wonders how hard it would be to get Mal to drop them off on one of those 'pretty bad' planets… A place where no one had to either know or care what went on the privacy of the Tam home.


End file.
